More than a rule

Image from Etsy.

I am always pleased when celebrities speak for chastity, because it gives the virtue a popularity boost, if you know what I mean. But I've always had the feeling that something crucial is missing in such stories. For one, the tone in which they are written sounds like they're saying: "It's so unusual that people still follow this rule lol." I guess we can credit them for trying, but chastity is more than a "rule."

Missing thing #1 - It's not just for singles
In the media, it seems only singles are qualified to be chaste. In reality, it doesn't mean that when you get married, chastity flies out the window. Chastity is a virtue for life; it is important for everyone whether they are single or married. It is not exclusive to singles and the religious.

Married people are chaste when they treat sex as it should be: a gift that unifies the couple that should be open to life, exclusive, and self-giving.

Missing thing #2 - It's not just "no sex"
Another media treatment I notice is that "no sex" is considered the only qualification for chastity. In truth, for a person to have the virtue, he should be chaste in thoughts, words, and actions. It should shine from a person's very being. Even one's choice in clothing should be a result of living chastity. Modesty is not called the "little sister" of chastity for nothing.

Missing thing #3 - It's not just for Christians
Frankly, I get annoyed when the media point out that celebrities who promote chastity are Christian, as if it's only for Christians. Chastity is for everybody because it is a virtue. No person is exempt from having certain virtues just because they don't practice some religion.

Love better, live better
Chastity is one of those virtues that sets the tone or creates a foundation for other virtues to develop. If a person practices chastity, he finds it easier to practice so many other virtues: self-mastery, modesty, thinking of the others, charity, patience, generosity, responsibility, respect... without chastity, all these virtues fall flat, much like having beautiful, expensive furniture but in a room that is very dirty.

More than a rule, chastity is a quality that takes struggle and discipline to acquire, but once you start fighting to have it, it disposes you to love better. You just love better because you respect the other person, you are willing to wait for the right time, you are open to life, and you wholeheartedly commit yourself to this person (and to your would-be children)--till death do you part.

Therefore...
Just because "not many people practice it anymore" doesn't mean chastity should be treated like a funny abnormal thing. On the contrary, it is a very beautiful thing, something everyone must work hard for, because it leads to true happiness.

"The superior man thinks always of virtue; the common man thinks of comfort."-Confucius

Writing to fashion magazines

Writeshop Part 2

Influencing Public Opinion

Humanizing Fashion

September 26, 2015, 2-5pm

Calayan Cultural Center

I'm inviting women young professionals (or any lady who likes to read fashion magazines and wants to promote modesty) to attend this talk we are organizing. We want to teach readers to write feedback letters to the media in order to help change the culture, even in a small way. 

Besides the "Humanizing Fashion" talk by Alou de Asis, there will be a practical workshop on writing letters. Learn how to compose letters that get your entire message across, and to make it diplomatic if what you want to say is a correction or criticism.

As media consumers, we have the right to say what we like to see or read about. So, come to our talk and find out how we can say what we think in the best way possible!

"Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing."-Benjamin Franklin

Convoluted Feminism

What a lovely woman! Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's TED talk on being feminist is quite captivating. It's a real eye-opener to hear of the way African women are regarded as "lower" than men, even to the point that they are not believed to be capable to earning their own money.

While I do agree with her wholeheartedly that we, indeed, should all be feminists, I feel it must be reiterated that men and women are equal in dignity, but they are different in many ways. For one, men and women think differently: men look at the big picture, women look at the details; in meeting other people, men focus on credentials, women focus on connections. Those are just some general differences.

So it really shouldn't be a surprise that there are activities that are considered "men's work" or "women's work." They are just what we naturally gravitate to. Men are asked to do "men's work" (cleaning the car, carrying heavy objects) because their bodies are stronger; women are asked to do "women's work" (sewing, cooking, cleaning) because they notice the little things better. And just because we have these social expectations that men and women do these specific things, it shouldn't stop people from trying their hand at the other sex's "specific" task. Men can cook, and women can fix cars, if they want--that's really just a matter of choice.

I want to emphasize that we are different, and that's a jolly good thing! Adichie's feminism is great--she wants to create a world where women are seen as capable individuals, who can support themselves and be good citizens, without having to give up their femininity. We women do not have to dress up like men to be taken seriously. We can wear a pretty dress and accessorize (like Adichie's very dignified style in the video) and be taken seriously, as a person whose opinion matters.

What I don't understand is that these days most feminists forget that our femininity is not just about wearing lipstick or floral frocks. Our femininity is in our biological makeup, too; particularly, in our ability to get pregnant.

I get really confused with this logic: feminists (particularly those who sparked the sexual revolution in the 1960's) more often than not demand that women must be like men sexually: that is to say, we must have the "right" to sleep with whomever we want without "being punished with a baby." This is the reason behind all that gab about the Pill, condoms, IUDs, and whatever-have-yous that they invented. They just want to stop women's bodies from doing the natural feminine thing.

I am reacting to this video because I found it funny for a feminist to mention that it was unfair that women are expected to be chaste, but men are not. Why would it be a bad thing for society to expect women to be chaste? What I think is really wrong with this picture is not that society expects women to be chaste, but rather that it doesn't expect men to be!

Consider this: nobody goes around saying that women should be patient but men don't have to be. Or that men should be diligent but women need not be. This is further proof that we are equal: virtue is equally demanded of both sexes.

I think the kind of feminism people should have is not one that tries to make women more like men using a convoluted concept of equality. Women's equality with men is in the fact that they have the same dignity as human beings. Beyond that, women and men are different but complimentary, and any effort to equalize them by removing femininity (or masculinity) from the picture is just pointless.

"The woman who thinks she can choose femininity, can toy with it like the social drinker toys with wine--well, she's asking for it, asking to be undone, devoured, asking to spend her life perpetrating a new fraud, manufacturing a new fake identity, only this time it's her equality that's fake."-Rachel Cusk