Pictures and the "thousand words"

Portrait of Mademoiselle Charlotte du Val D'Ognes (c.1801) Jacques-Loius David, attributed to Constance Marie Charpentier.

There are arguments that people use to defend pornography. There's the oft-repeated phrase that "it's only natural" for men to look at pornography; that's why it's such a huge market. Some say it's even "art" and people who look at those pictures are simply "admiring the beauty of womanhood." Confused feminists (who are not aware that they are confused) say it's a woman's right to pose in the nude for men's magazines ("If you have it, flaunt it!"), and besides, they get paid so much.

But there's only one thing to be said in answer to all those, and it should prove that no matter how "natural" the "need" is, or how "artsy" the final result is, or how willingly the women posing did it, the culture of porn brings no real benefit to individuals, men and women alike.

If people would only recognize that the models (no matter how airbrushed/photoshopped) are real persons with a mother, a father, a sibling, friends and relatives, then it makes sense. Imagine that the person on the cover page of a famous men's magazine is your sister. You're at a magazine stand and a bunch of guys are staring at her picture. Wouldn't you feel protective, ashamed or offended?

Obviously, every time people are shamed that way, everyone close to them is shamed to some degree as well. That's why fan clubs go up in arms when their favorite artista is slighted--what more if it's someone really close to you, someone you've known since you were little? Methinks if guys can't give up porn to respect women in general, they should give it up to respect all mothers, fathers, siblings, and friends of those women.

Pornography serves no need. It is not art, and no matter how "game" the models are, no matter if they say it's their lifelong dream to pose naked for this or that cover, deep inside they are denying themselves something special, and they are hurting those closest to them in the process, too.

"Our bodies are our gardens, to which our wills are gardeners." -Othello, William Shakespeare

Listening

Speaking of the Twilight series, here's another thing to think about. When it comes to dating, do your parents have a say?

In the third movie of the series, Eclipse, there was a scene in which Charlie (Bella's dad) tries to give her "the talk." Bella cuts him off: "Dad, please don't worry about that. Edward is 'old school.'" Charlie says, "Old school. Great. What's that? a code for something?" Bella gets frustrated and says, "Dad, I'm a virgin." Charlie covers his ears and goes, "Glad we covered that!" Then Bella runs up the stairs, shouting, "Me too!"

Parents, though they find it awkward to talk about these things, will talk about them anyway if they really care about the happiness of their kids (even if the kids are not kids anymore). So, forgive your parents if they subject you to an awkward conversation like that, and try not to cut them off. After all, no matter how "old school" you think your relationship with your boyfriend is, there's always something a parent might say (or leave unsaid) that you'll be glad you heard.

Take, for example, this conversation between Bella and Charlie. The daughter should have realized, especially when her dad started drawling about "taking precautions" (!), that Charlie already thinks she is sleeping with Edward! While Charlie tries to give advice (not good advice to be sure, but I guess he already thought Bella would do what she wanted and not tolerate being told off), he leaves unsaid a comment on Bella's dating behavior. Sure, she and Edward may not be having sex, but they do spend nights alone together, so what's a dad to think?

It's a daughter's responsibility to keep her parents from wondering and worrying (as much as it is a son's); and to do that, she must behave with propriety. Though her parents can't control where she goes or what time she comes home, the daughter must be responsible enough to choose good places to go with her boyfriend and to respect the time at home (or at least tell those at home what time to expect her, if she'll be a little late). It's one way of giving one's parents the honor due to them--after all, they aren't young anymore and can't be left fretting over their kids when they should be relaxing.

It's an act of charity to be open to one's parents: so go ahead, tell them about your boyfriend or date (what kind of guy he is, what he likes, what you do together...). No matter what they say about those insights and stories of yours, you can be sure that they just want you to keep sharing, keep talking, and keep them enlightened. And surely there will be fewer occasions for awkward discussions, because openness dissolves all awkwardness between responsible adults of different generations.

"Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands."-Anne Frank