Playlist: Songs of lasting love, and how

This is what I like about old songs: they zero in on love--as something that lasts--better than a lot of today's hip new songs, which tend to glorify the supposedly impressive ability (or maybe the supposedly important need) to score, in the non-sporty sense of the word. Forgive me for generalizing; I guess it's an effect of culture that the newer songs' take on love has morphed. It just means we have to work a bit harder to get Love back to its former glory. Hehe!

From now on you can look forward to posts on true-love love songs, and I'm hoping to come across newer songs with their hearts in the proper place. I have high hopes there will be more someday.

Now on to the playlist:

Here is one that's catchy and cute composed by Johnny Bristol but popularized by The Osmonds in 1974 (later on by Boyzone in 1994), "Love Me for a Reason." I like how the guy in the song tells the girl he'll pass up the "kisses and caresses" (teehee!) so that he can really be loved for love. And really, if you want to have a love that lasts, the first step is not to get love and lust confused!

This next one's about commitment--"Beautiful in my eyes." Sung by Joshua Kadison in the 1990s. I like how the guy in the song is so sure about his lady love, and he doesn't just promise things to her, which is common, but promises that his love won't ever fade, even when he's old and dying. This is far from today's "I love you so let's try it out first by living in so we'll see if we're compatible or something." No! In this song, the guy loves her and he's sure of it--till the end! (No testing required!) Guess this is why they just love playing this at weddings.

Finally, this one is by Neil Sedaka and Howard Greenfield and popularized by Captain and Tennille in 1975, "Love Will Keep Us Together." No lasting relationship happens without commitment, and for that, the couple has to be strong! This song points out that while it may be challenging, it's possible with (well, you guessed it) love!

Happy listening!

"Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent."-Victor Hugo

Oh brother!

Photographed by Annie Leibovitz for the Metropolitan Opera production of Hansel and Gretel starring Andrew Garfield and Lily Cole.

One of the most difficult writing assignments I had in college involved writing about women's fashion from the point of view of a guy writing for FHM. Our professor said, "To get the idea, you either read the magazine or ask a guy what he thinks about women's clothes, and work from there."

My resulting article had a guy persona poking fun at women who didn't dress with practicality and preferred instead to fall prey to fashion dictates like mini skirts, tube tops and peeking thong underwear (the "in" thing back then). My guy self pointed out things like how a short skirt would not allow a girl to sit properly and much less to climb a jeep with dignity, how a tube top would have to be pulled up every 5 seconds, and how thong undies never seemed to accomplish what they were made to do (that is, to stay hidden). The finished piece made people laugh, but it had one critical point: it did not read like it got published in FHM.

"You didn't read FHM? So who did you ask?" said the prof.

I said, "My friend's brother!"

Young women who have brothers are very lucky--and please don't think I'm just saying that because I don't have one.

Brothers who really care will give you invaluable insights on the young men who knock on the door, not to mention tips on how to dress better on a date. (And he doesn't need to be reading a fashion magazine to help you on that. All he needs is love for you!)

• If your brother tells you that your shorts are too short, then they probably are. He is not being KJ or "conservative." He just has this great advantage of looking at you through the eyes of a guy.
• And if he insults your fashion choices, don't take offense; most likely, it is because he can imagine what that dude who will take you out will think of it (and of you), and it sickens him.

Beyond fashion choices, a brother can be the one to "issue threats" to that Potential Boyfriend of yours if Daddy is not enough, and of course, your Bro has the advantage of being in the same generation as PB so it comes off as friendlier, more laidback and... even cool. Besides, Bro can actually become good friends with PB, too, and that may just give you even more insights on whether PB is someone who will respect and love you for real.

So, make friends with your brother and ask him for advice--and not just when you need to write a paper from the point of view of a guy! :-)

"Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero." -Marc Brown

How to be a knight in shining armor today

Fashion photography by Duc Nguyen

Gentlemen, listen up. Chivalry is not dead. It just changed to suit the times. After all, while there is no need now to joust or challenge anyone to a sword fight to save a lady love, men are still very much expected to respect, protect, care for, and love the women around them.

Here are some things that ladies truly appreciate in the gentlemen who ask them out on a date:

1. He comes in the house to say hi to the family. It may seem very troublesome to park the car somewhere and fetch her, but coming in to greet her parents, siblings, or anybody else at her house is a way of saying, "I'm responsible for her tonight, you can trust me."

2. He sticks to populated places and avoids taking her to private or dark corners. Ok, so maybe he trusts himself that nothing will happen, sure. But by taking his date to a dark corner, he is not taking care of her but putting her in danger. He should consider first how he wants another guy to treat his little sister, and that's how he must treat his date, too.

3. He doesn't crack green jokes. If he does, she might laugh, but all it really accomplishes is to make her think that's the only thing in his noggin.

4. He holds her hand, not her waist. His body language shows that he is with her without making her look cheap or easy.

5. He keeps his promise of bringing her home safely. And he doesn't try anything on her while saying bye-bye!

"Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage."-Theodore Roosevelt

How to be a lady

Young Lady In a Boat by James Tissot

10 things.

10. Say thank you.

9. Dress to express your personality, not to show off "what you have."

8. Watch what you say and how you say it. Your words should make you a lady too.

The Gallery of HMS Calcutta by James Tissot

7. Don't lose your temper over petty things. A pretty face with a frown loses all prettiness.

6. But then, it's okay to be angry--if it's to stand up for what is right and proper.

5. Respect other people's opinions, even if you know better. Say, "I see it differently," instead of "I disagree."

4. It's not the shoes. It's where you stroll in them.

A Spring Morning, Haverstock Hill by George Clausen

3. Don't try to be one of the guys. Imagine if they tried to be one of the ladies!

2. Sit up straight and stand up straight--and get your values straight, too.

1. When in doubt, remember Whose daughter you are. ;-)

"Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use."-Emily Post