Listening

Speaking of the Twilight series, here's another thing to think about. When it comes to dating, do your parents have a say?

In the third movie of the series, Eclipse, there was a scene in which Charlie (Bella's dad) tries to give her "the talk." Bella cuts him off: "Dad, please don't worry about that. Edward is 'old school.'" Charlie says, "Old school. Great. What's that? a code for something?" Bella gets frustrated and says, "Dad, I'm a virgin." Charlie covers his ears and goes, "Glad we covered that!" Then Bella runs up the stairs, shouting, "Me too!"

Parents, though they find it awkward to talk about these things, will talk about them anyway if they really care about the happiness of their kids (even if the kids are not kids anymore). So, forgive your parents if they subject you to an awkward conversation like that, and try not to cut them off. After all, no matter how "old school" you think your relationship with your boyfriend is, there's always something a parent might say (or leave unsaid) that you'll be glad you heard.

Take, for example, this conversation between Bella and Charlie. The daughter should have realized, especially when her dad started drawling about "taking precautions" (!), that Charlie already thinks she is sleeping with Edward! While Charlie tries to give advice (not good advice to be sure, but I guess he already thought Bella would do what she wanted and not tolerate being told off), he leaves unsaid a comment on Bella's dating behavior. Sure, she and Edward may not be having sex, but they do spend nights alone together, so what's a dad to think?

It's a daughter's responsibility to keep her parents from wondering and worrying (as much as it is a son's); and to do that, she must behave with propriety. Though her parents can't control where she goes or what time she comes home, the daughter must be responsible enough to choose good places to go with her boyfriend and to respect the time at home (or at least tell those at home what time to expect her, if she'll be a little late). It's one way of giving one's parents the honor due to them--after all, they aren't young anymore and can't be left fretting over their kids when they should be relaxing.

It's an act of charity to be open to one's parents: so go ahead, tell them about your boyfriend or date (what kind of guy he is, what he likes, what you do together...). No matter what they say about those insights and stories of yours, you can be sure that they just want you to keep sharing, keep talking, and keep them enlightened. And surely there will be fewer occasions for awkward discussions, because openness dissolves all awkwardness between responsible adults of different generations.

"Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands."-Anne Frank