Thursday, February 9, 2012

On protecting your lady love

Stills from Captain America: The First Avenger (2011). Chris Evans and Haley Atwell.

Guys, this post's for you.

I know how much you love your girlfriend. She is a wonderful girl with a good sense of humor. She's so lady-like and effortlessly put together that she really makes you look more like a gentleman, even in your trusty college t-shirt, rugged jeans, and favorite pair of Nike Dunks. And she needs you to protect her--at least to make sure she gets home safely, doesn't trip, slip, bump into anything, break an arm, break a leg or break her neck on your watch.

But you must remember that protecting her doesn't mean:

  • you should wrap your arm around her neck and leave it there like an iron clamp when you're walking around together leisurely. She needs to breathe, you know. Besides, by just holding her hand, you can be sure to protect her adequately. (It's helpful to put your arm over her shoulder if you're guiding her through a crowd or a busy street. Always take the situation into account.)
  • you should carry her purse, too. That purse does not belong on your arm--it contains all her personal effects, and besides, hindi naman iyan bagay sa 'yo.
  • you should accompany her shopping. If she's with trusted girl friends or family, you can rest assured that she's in good hands. Some guys who accompany their girlfriends end up having to help judge how something looks on her in the dressing room. It's fine if she's trying on a decent dress, shoes or some work pants, but who can say when she will demand you to say something about a pair of short shorts, a corset party top or (good luck with this one) intimate apparel? Sometimes, girls don't know what's good for them so you guys have to draw a line somewhere.
  • you should tell her she looks pretty when she doesn't. You may want to protect her feelings, but if by some chance your beautiful lady lets the stress from her work day make her look like a train wreck, trust me, she will appreciate being told so. That way, she can remedy it before somebody else she knows sees her. (And next time she will not be lax about her appearance around you.)


Truly protecting your lady love also means respecting her space, her things, her reputation and her personhood, besides the obvious ensuring that she gets home in one piece (inside and out) whenever you go on a date. Also, there are protective things you can do that lie beyond the frame of taking her out to dinner, to the mall or to a movie. 

You can protect her thoughts by guarding your words; protect her happiness and future by keeping your love pure and true; protect her soul by never asking her to do things she might feel guilty (or sad, or "not right") about afterwards. Most of all, you can protect her if you treat her like the lady she is without having to compromise your standing as a true gentleman. 


"Of Manners gentle, of Affections mild; In Wit a man; Simplicity, a child."-Alexander Pope

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