Pictures and the "thousand words"

Portrait of Mademoiselle Charlotte du Val D'Ognes (c.1801) Jacques-Loius David, attributed to Constance Marie Charpentier.

There are arguments that people use to defend pornography. There's the oft-repeated phrase that "it's only natural" for men to look at pornography; that's why it's such a huge market. Some say it's even "art" and people who look at those pictures are simply "admiring the beauty of womanhood." Confused feminists (who are not aware that they are confused) say it's a woman's right to pose in the nude for men's magazines ("If you have it, flaunt it!"), and besides, they get paid so much.

But there's only one thing to be said in answer to all those, and it should prove that no matter how "natural" the "need" is, or how "artsy" the final result is, or how willingly the women posing did it, the culture of porn brings no real benefit to individuals, men and women alike.

If people would only recognize that the models (no matter how airbrushed/photoshopped) are real persons with a mother, a father, a sibling, friends and relatives, then it makes sense. Imagine that the person on the cover page of a famous men's magazine is your sister. You're at a magazine stand and a bunch of guys are staring at her picture. Wouldn't you feel protective, ashamed or offended?

Obviously, every time people are shamed that way, everyone close to them is shamed to some degree as well. That's why fan clubs go up in arms when their favorite artista is slighted--what more if it's someone really close to you, someone you've known since you were little? Methinks if guys can't give up porn to respect women in general, they should give it up to respect all mothers, fathers, siblings, and friends of those women.

Pornography serves no need. It is not art, and no matter how "game" the models are, no matter if they say it's their lifelong dream to pose naked for this or that cover, deep inside they are denying themselves something special, and they are hurting those closest to them in the process, too.

"Our bodies are our gardens, to which our wills are gardeners." -Othello, William Shakespeare

Listening

Speaking of the Twilight series, here's another thing to think about. When it comes to dating, do your parents have a say?

In the third movie of the series, Eclipse, there was a scene in which Charlie (Bella's dad) tries to give her "the talk." Bella cuts him off: "Dad, please don't worry about that. Edward is 'old school.'" Charlie says, "Old school. Great. What's that? a code for something?" Bella gets frustrated and says, "Dad, I'm a virgin." Charlie covers his ears and goes, "Glad we covered that!" Then Bella runs up the stairs, shouting, "Me too!"

Parents, though they find it awkward to talk about these things, will talk about them anyway if they really care about the happiness of their kids (even if the kids are not kids anymore). So, forgive your parents if they subject you to an awkward conversation like that, and try not to cut them off. After all, no matter how "old school" you think your relationship with your boyfriend is, there's always something a parent might say (or leave unsaid) that you'll be glad you heard.

Take, for example, this conversation between Bella and Charlie. The daughter should have realized, especially when her dad started drawling about "taking precautions" (!), that Charlie already thinks she is sleeping with Edward! While Charlie tries to give advice (not good advice to be sure, but I guess he already thought Bella would do what she wanted and not tolerate being told off), he leaves unsaid a comment on Bella's dating behavior. Sure, she and Edward may not be having sex, but they do spend nights alone together, so what's a dad to think?

It's a daughter's responsibility to keep her parents from wondering and worrying (as much as it is a son's); and to do that, she must behave with propriety. Though her parents can't control where she goes or what time she comes home, the daughter must be responsible enough to choose good places to go with her boyfriend and to respect the time at home (or at least tell those at home what time to expect her, if she'll be a little late). It's one way of giving one's parents the honor due to them--after all, they aren't young anymore and can't be left fretting over their kids when they should be relaxing.

It's an act of charity to be open to one's parents: so go ahead, tell them about your boyfriend or date (what kind of guy he is, what he likes, what you do together...). No matter what they say about those insights and stories of yours, you can be sure that they just want you to keep sharing, keep talking, and keep them enlightened. And surely there will be fewer occasions for awkward discussions, because openness dissolves all awkwardness between responsible adults of different generations.

"Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands."-Anne Frank

Breaking dawn

Breaking Dawn Part 1 is now showing in theaters, which means more squealing teens in the movie houses.

Stills from the movie The Twilight Saga: Breaking dawn Pt. 1

The Twilight series are not the best books out there, but I can't ignore how many kids read it... so, really, it's only a matter of time before something about the books or the movies comes out in this blog. The basic plot of the series is: ordinary girl (Bella) loves vampire guy (Edward) and together, they get themselves into near-death situations due to vampire and werewolf politics, etc.

Anyway, Breaking Dawn is the last book, and it's about Bella and Edward tying the knot, and having a baby. What's interesting about the series is that Stephanie Meyer seems to have taken the trouble to insert a lesson on virtue: Edward's being "old school" in that he wants to save sex for marriage. (This point they follow; they only do it after they're married. So, plus points right?)

It's troubling how a guy who says he wants to save sex for marriage insists on staying overnight in his girlfriend's room just so he could... watch her sleep. One blogger, Katie Hinderer of Tiger Print, calls it The Twilight Myth, which "goes like this: You and your boyfriend have enough willpower to sleep together nightly and nothing will happen. You both will remain chaste and virtuous while being wrapped in the other’s arms for long hours at a time. How romantic."

Pure love doesn't mean you just avoid having sex until you're married. That's a very flat way of looking at it. When you love someone purely and truly, you want to respect that person. You do everything in your power to protect your beloved, even from yourself. For example, a guy who loves his girlfriend won't take her alone into a dark corner. A girl who loves her boyfriend will not test his virtue by dressing carelessly or acting immodestly.

Might seem like a tall order, but you'll see that the purer your lifestyle is, the easier it gets. If Bella and Edward stop making the bedroom their favorite hangout, the less often will Edward have to explain why he wants to put it off till they tie the knot.

And perhaps the books will be significantly slimmer, too.

"Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts?"-Confucius

Playlist: Songs of lasting love, and how

This is what I like about old songs: they zero in on love--as something that lasts--better than a lot of today's hip new songs, which tend to glorify the supposedly impressive ability (or maybe the supposedly important need) to score, in the non-sporty sense of the word. Forgive me for generalizing; I guess it's an effect of culture that the newer songs' take on love has morphed. It just means we have to work a bit harder to get Love back to its former glory. Hehe!

From now on you can look forward to posts on true-love love songs, and I'm hoping to come across newer songs with their hearts in the proper place. I have high hopes there will be more someday.

Now on to the playlist:

Here is one that's catchy and cute composed by Johnny Bristol but popularized by The Osmonds in 1974 (later on by Boyzone in 1994), "Love Me for a Reason." I like how the guy in the song tells the girl he'll pass up the "kisses and caresses" (teehee!) so that he can really be loved for love. And really, if you want to have a love that lasts, the first step is not to get love and lust confused!

This next one's about commitment--"Beautiful in my eyes." Sung by Joshua Kadison in the 1990s. I like how the guy in the song is so sure about his lady love, and he doesn't just promise things to her, which is common, but promises that his love won't ever fade, even when he's old and dying. This is far from today's "I love you so let's try it out first by living in so we'll see if we're compatible or something." No! In this song, the guy loves her and he's sure of it--till the end! (No testing required!) Guess this is why they just love playing this at weddings.

Finally, this one is by Neil Sedaka and Howard Greenfield and popularized by Captain and Tennille in 1975, "Love Will Keep Us Together." No lasting relationship happens without commitment, and for that, the couple has to be strong! This song points out that while it may be challenging, it's possible with (well, you guessed it) love!

Happy listening!

"Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent."-Victor Hugo

Oh brother!

Photographed by Annie Leibovitz for the Metropolitan Opera production of Hansel and Gretel starring Andrew Garfield and Lily Cole.

One of the most difficult writing assignments I had in college involved writing about women's fashion from the point of view of a guy writing for FHM. Our professor said, "To get the idea, you either read the magazine or ask a guy what he thinks about women's clothes, and work from there."

My resulting article had a guy persona poking fun at women who didn't dress with practicality and preferred instead to fall prey to fashion dictates like mini skirts, tube tops and peeking thong underwear (the "in" thing back then). My guy self pointed out things like how a short skirt would not allow a girl to sit properly and much less to climb a jeep with dignity, how a tube top would have to be pulled up every 5 seconds, and how thong undies never seemed to accomplish what they were made to do (that is, to stay hidden). The finished piece made people laugh, but it had one critical point: it did not read like it got published in FHM.

"You didn't read FHM? So who did you ask?" said the prof.

I said, "My friend's brother!"

Young women who have brothers are very lucky--and please don't think I'm just saying that because I don't have one.

Brothers who really care will give you invaluable insights on the young men who knock on the door, not to mention tips on how to dress better on a date. (And he doesn't need to be reading a fashion magazine to help you on that. All he needs is love for you!)

• If your brother tells you that your shorts are too short, then they probably are. He is not being KJ or "conservative." He just has this great advantage of looking at you through the eyes of a guy.
• And if he insults your fashion choices, don't take offense; most likely, it is because he can imagine what that dude who will take you out will think of it (and of you), and it sickens him.

Beyond fashion choices, a brother can be the one to "issue threats" to that Potential Boyfriend of yours if Daddy is not enough, and of course, your Bro has the advantage of being in the same generation as PB so it comes off as friendlier, more laidback and... even cool. Besides, Bro can actually become good friends with PB, too, and that may just give you even more insights on whether PB is someone who will respect and love you for real.

So, make friends with your brother and ask him for advice--and not just when you need to write a paper from the point of view of a guy! :-)

"Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero." -Marc Brown

How to be a knight in shining armor today

Fashion photography by Duc Nguyen

Gentlemen, listen up. Chivalry is not dead. It just changed to suit the times. After all, while there is no need now to joust or challenge anyone to a sword fight to save a lady love, men are still very much expected to respect, protect, care for, and love the women around them.

Here are some things that ladies truly appreciate in the gentlemen who ask them out on a date:

1. He comes in the house to say hi to the family. It may seem very troublesome to park the car somewhere and fetch her, but coming in to greet her parents, siblings, or anybody else at her house is a way of saying, "I'm responsible for her tonight, you can trust me."

2. He sticks to populated places and avoids taking her to private or dark corners. Ok, so maybe he trusts himself that nothing will happen, sure. But by taking his date to a dark corner, he is not taking care of her but putting her in danger. He should consider first how he wants another guy to treat his little sister, and that's how he must treat his date, too.

3. He doesn't crack green jokes. If he does, she might laugh, but all it really accomplishes is to make her think that's the only thing in his noggin.

4. He holds her hand, not her waist. His body language shows that he is with her without making her look cheap or easy.

5. He keeps his promise of bringing her home safely. And he doesn't try anything on her while saying bye-bye!

"Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage."-Theodore Roosevelt

How to be a lady

Young Lady In a Boat by James Tissot

10 things.

10. Say thank you.

9. Dress to express your personality, not to show off "what you have."

8. Watch what you say and how you say it. Your words should make you a lady too.

The Gallery of HMS Calcutta by James Tissot

7. Don't lose your temper over petty things. A pretty face with a frown loses all prettiness.

6. But then, it's okay to be angry--if it's to stand up for what is right and proper.

5. Respect other people's opinions, even if you know better. Say, "I see it differently," instead of "I disagree."

4. It's not the shoes. It's where you stroll in them.

A Spring Morning, Haverstock Hill by George Clausen

3. Don't try to be one of the guys. Imagine if they tried to be one of the ladies!

2. Sit up straight and stand up straight--and get your values straight, too.

1. When in doubt, remember Whose daughter you are. ;-)

"Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use."-Emily Post

Introduction: Why pure love?

Welcome to Main Squeeze (getitpure.blogspot.com)!

• If you've stumbled upon this blog because you were searching for an image, you should know that this blog only contains nice images!
• If you've stumbled upon this blog because you googled "finding love," you should know that this blog is bent on helping you find love in the best possible way--no guilt relationships, no feeling of "owing" anyone, and definitely none of that "I'm sticking with him because I gave him everything."
• If you've stumbled upon this blog because you are looking for reasons to keep love pure, then you've come to the right place!

BUT FIRST this is just an introduction. Pure love, or chastity, is needed so much nowadays, because many things in the mainstream media and the youth culture have made the impression that the opposites of chastity, purity and modesty are way cooler. This blog is not "free PR" for chastity. It's not here to sell the idea of chastity to unsuspecting youth. Instead, it is here to show that living the virtue is possible for anyone (singles, marrieds, and even those with a past)... and results in a person who is happy and free!

I hope you'll all enjoy reading!

"When you decide firmly to lead a clean life, chastity will not be a burden on you; it will be a crown of triumph."-St. Josemaria Escriva.