The right man

'Nuff said.

"Don't say, 'That's the way I am--it's my character.' It's your lack of character. Esto vir!--Be a man!" - St. Josemaria Escriva

'I thought she was smart'

Whenever I hear the words "I thought she was smart" in reference to a piece of news about someone getting pregnant out of wedlock, I always sincerely hope the speaker is referring to prudence, modesty and chastity, because if anything, those are the three things a young woman really needs in a culture that is permissive of sexual intimacy outside of marriage.

But language being what it is, I can't help noticing how such a comment can have a double meaning--doesn't "smart" sound a bit too... calculating? Something like, "Hey if this lady thought ahead and took some form of contraception, then she wouldn't be having this problem right now."

That comment actually makes me ask: would contraception have done anything good for the young woman in this situation? Sure, you could say the contraception works; she doesn't get pregnant. What then? Does the doing the deed make her happier? their relationship stronger? Does getting what she wants now build her character? Is she helping her boyfriend grow in virtue? How will a contraceptive mindset help them both when they're married?

Not to mention the many what ifs:
What if the contraception doesn't work? (No contraception method is 100% efficient)
What if the boyfriend leaves her eventually?
What if she gets sick?


Non-existent
Contraception becomes easy to accept if you only look at short term goals--and that's exactly why contraception is unacceptable. Because when it comes to finding true love, there is no such thing as a short term goal. Contraception doesn't help anyone grow in the virtues of selflessness, self mastery, temperance, and generosity--all of which a person needs in marriage. And what is a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship if not a preparation for marriage? that is, a marriage that lasts?

Forget "smart." IQ has nothing to do with having the will to save it for the person who respects you, loves you, and treats you well. What matters is having your heart in the right place, and making up your mind not to give it up at the wrong time and circumstance--for your protection, and his!

You want a love that lasts, right? So, don't calculate... wait.


"The sea does not reward those who are too anxious, too greedy, or too impatient. One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach--waiting for a gift from the sea."-Anne Morrow Lindbergh