Homosexuality and chastity

The other night, as My Husband’s Lover was running on the boob tube, my sisters asked me for my stand on “same-sex marriage.” I said I am against it, but I wasn’t able to explain it very well. So let me use this chastity blog as a venue to do so.

Let me start by saying that people who have same sex attraction did not choose to have them. Nobody knows the cause of homosexuality; but studies point to nurture rather than nature (i.e., there is no gay gene). Though same sex attraction occurs, it is not normal. If it were, then there would be more people who were gay, say at least 50 percent of the population.

Now, my main objection against marriage between two men (or two women) stems from the need to live a pure life. A virtue that teaches each individual to love, chastity is for all: single people, married people, straight and gay people. Living chastity means loving without lusting, and respecting the body and soul of the beloved. That’s why single people are called to wait till marriage, and married people are called to fidelity and openness to life. It’s simply the way to love without being selfish, and it’s the only way that leads to happiness because it does not create complications, because it helps each person live in integrity.

People with same-sex attraction are called to living this very same chastity. It is harder, because the person they love is automatically off-limits. But, come to think of it, this is the same struggle that even straight people face. You can’t have just anybody—relationships should be founded on a true and right love. Common knowledge: If a woman falls in love with a married man, she has to squelch that love because the man is off-limits. If a man falls in love with a nun, he has to squelch that love too, because the woman is off-limits.

I’ve tried explaining this to a friend once; she asked, “If that’s the case, won’t it be dooming them to live a life of never finding happiness and true love?” Not really, because if the relationship is not based on a true and right love, and if it doesn’t let you live the virtue of chastity, then it’s doomed not to last anyway—where’s the happiness and true love in that? I type the rest of the conversation for rumination.

“Why would it be wrong if they love each other anyhow and their love is sincere?”
“In the end, people want to have long and lasting love, and to get that, it takes more than love being mutual and sincere.”
“My gay best friend has long lasting relationships naman.”
“How long?”
“The last one was three years.”

In another post, we can talk about legalizing “same-sex marriage” and its implications.