Quick tips for Guys: Relationship Rules of Thumb

I know you guys don't like reading long stuff so this will be quick. Here are a few pointers to help ease that daunting task of finding the right girl.

1) Date only the girl you can see as your girlfriend. Make friends with a lot of girls, but ask out the one you feel is the one whose hand you want to hold.

2) Go steady only with the girl you can see as your wife. As you get to know your date more, you can think seriously on asking her to be your girlfriend only if you want her to be the one you will grow old with.

3) Marry only the woman you can love as a sister. Sounds weird, but let me explain. The big difference between courtship and marriage is that marriage is the next step in a loving relationship: it includes giving of the self in order to become one and to have kids. Okay, so maybe some people will tell you otherwise, but you can't deny that this is the natural and basic thing. SO, if you can love that woman for her whole being, without thinking of sex; if you can love her with a will to protect her as you would your mother or your sister, then she may just be the right girl.

I use "may" because these pointers are here only to help you when you're thinking things through. As in every thing, pray hard about it before making the next step. Love is not just about feelings; most of the time, the feelings are only there at the start. To love is a decision, so you have to make it with your full will, with faith, and with perseverance. It may sound difficult here, but it's not when you put your heart in the right place and keep it pure.

Good luck! :-)

I'd love to love you, but...

"This is the day your dreams come true!"
"What do you know about my dreams, Gaston?"

I've always thought about rejection as a form of character building, for ladies as much as for the gents. When a guy likes a girl, it's only natural that he tries to get to know her, make friends with her, and then later on pursue and court her. But when he gets rejected, it's an occasion to man up and perhaps pursue other things in the meantime, as the heart mends, and he moves on.

On the other hand, a lady finds herself in a more difficult position. Say, she does not like the guy at all. She has to find a way to let him know that without being uncharitable. If, say, she likes him but does not see him as a boyfriend (that is, future husband) for one reason or another, then that's another type of problem: how do you reject someone and still be friends? The last situation I can think of is if the guy is making his advances even when it's clear that the girl is unavailable, like when she has a boyfriend (!), a husband (!!), or a vocation (!!!). In these situations, the character building lies in the girl's fortitude: how to make and stand by a decision, and carry out that decision with a lot of love.

This song by the Corrs is about a girl rejecting the love offered by a guy. It's actually a very kind rejection song haha. But I think it sums up how a lady can do this with a lot of love: telling the truth, praying for the person, and trusting that time will heal all wounds. Here's the song, with the lyrics below. Enjoy!


 

LOVE TO LOVE YOU - The Corrs

I would love to love you like you do me,
I'd love to love you like you do me,
There's a pillar in my way you see,
I'd love to love you like you do me,

I, met you on a sunny Autumn day,

You instantly attracted me, when asking for the way,
God if I had known the pain I'd make you feel,
I would have stopped this thought of us, and turned upon my heel,

Though you should leave me,
Time make it be alright,
Though you must leave me,
Time will help you see the light,
You don't need me,
Time make it be alright,
Though you must leave me,
Believe me when I tell you,

I would love to love you like you do me,
I'd love to love you like you do me,
There's a pillar in my way you see,
I'd love to love you like you do me,

You recognised my barrier to love,
I know there's nothing worse than unrequited love, unrequited love,
So I prayed to God that I could give the love you gave to me,
But something's lying in my way, preventing it to be,

Though you should leave me,
Time make it be alright,
Though you must leave me,
Believe me when I tell you,

I would love to love you like you do me,
I'd love to love you like you do me,
There's a pillar in my way you see,
I'd love to love you like you do me,

I would love to love you like you do me,
I'd love to love you like you do me,
There's a pillar in my way you see,
I'd love to love you like you do me,

Break those pillars down,
Break those pillars down,
Take those pillars down, down, down,
Oh, take those pillars down,
Love to love you like you do me,
Break those pillars down,
Love to love you like you do me,
Oh take those pillars down,
Love to love you,
Love to love you,
Love to love you,
Love to love you,
Take those pillars down,
Love to love you...

That's what friends are for

It's a fact of life that friends influence one another. But most of the time, people assume it's bad influence! Why not spread what's good? Here, some questions regarding friendship and your role as an advocate of pure love:

What do I do if a friend wears a blouse with a plunging neckline or super short shorts?

As a woman, you understand how the lines of appropriate dressing can be blurred in the name of fashion. So instead of giving your friend rules like "Only wear shirts with sleeves and a neckline two fingers below the collarbone or higher," or "Only wear skirts up to the knees or longer," which, honestly, do seem to leave too little room for personal opinions, share with her some fashion magazine pictures that show women in stylish and modest clothes. Or go shopping together! With perseverance, your friendship and fashion advice can help her see that there is true freedom in choosing to dress with dignity. Plus, you both come out more stylish for it!

How can I help an unmarried friend who tells me she is pregnant?

She needs you more than ever, so don't abandon her! Listen to her, ask her how she is, and pray for her. Help her to want to make only the good choices from now on. People can be cruel to women in this situation; they gossip about her, call her names, and some even suggest abortion! As her friend, you should love her more. Don't lie to her, though: don't tell her what she did was right! But do help her see that there is always hope, even in the worst cases, and that you're gonna be there to help her make the best of the situation and get back up again. And perhaps, someday, when she's ready, she can make a good confession, which never fails to make one feel deeply happy! 

As an ordinary girl, what can I do to promote pure love?

Live it. In the way you act, in the way you dress, and in the way you speak, you're already promoting a certain stand on how a lady should behave. I'm not saying you should put on a show every minute; if purity of heart is something you deeply care about, then it will naturally flow from you! Keep on studying, strengthening and growing in your faith--that is the foundation of pure love. And keep praying for wisdom, courage, the right words, and cheerfulness--those are your fuel and ammunition. 

Then, infect all of your friends.   

"Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another."-George Eliot